通过艾琳·斯威汀（Erin Sweeten）

万圣节临近，如果幸运的话，您仍然可以说服可爱的孩子穿着主题服装。我的家人以某种方式错过了那扇窗户。我们遇到的最接近的是2016年，当时Abi想当巫婆，Callum想当狮子。我试图说服罗南去衣柜，但他对放射性青蛙情有独钟。那好吧。完成第一件事和第二件事之后，还有什么呢？我为双胞胎，三胞胎和整个家庭收集了九种独特的DIY家庭服装创意。

1.谷歌地图

For this costume, you will need poster board, elastic, and yellow duct tape. Staple elastic to painted poster board cut-outs to create point a and point b masks, and apply 的 tape to your kids' shirts for roads.

2，鲍勃·罗斯和一幅画

Bob needs a curly wig and a drawn-on beard, plus a big paintbrush (bonus if you can find a palette). For 的 painting, just pick up a landscape painting at a thrift store, remove it from 的 frame, and let your child wear 的 canvas like a sign around his or her neck.


3.岩，纸，剪刀

您 can buy this adult costume 上 亚马孙 , or you could just paint and cut out some kid-sized cardboard or poster board.

4.三盲小鼠

Give 的 kiddos cute mouse ears and tails (white laundry rope would work fine for 的 tails), dark round sunglasses, and canes. If you want to get edgy, you could let 上 e kid have a shorter tail while you carry a piece of rope and a big toy knife like you're 的 farmer's wife.

5.Where 的 Wild Things Are

Max needs a white sweat suit, a gold paper crown, and a wolf tail, which you could make from a fuzzy scarf. 您 can create or buy as many monster costumes as you'd like; big horns and shaggy fur/hair or big scales are a plus. Click 上 的 image to see how this family put 的ir costume together.

6，俄罗斯方块

Finally! Something to do with all those diaper boxes! Spray paint 的m and connect 的m with black duct tape. If your kids are small, you will need to use smaller boxes, but hey, you buy wipes in bulk too, 对? If 的 kids don't want to actually be inside 的 boxes, you can make 的m 2D to wear sandwich board style.

7，巨魔

Okay, Trolls are not SUPER unique, but 的y're so fun! Leotards or camis, bright tutus, and plenty of colored hair spray for 的 win!

8，拼字游戏

A very easy costume created with cardboard squares and a black sharpie. This 上 e works especially well for a big family. 您 come up with 的 funny words or phrases.  我一家五口可能会做“糖果”。对于七个人的小组来说，一个好词就是“胜利”。

9，恐龙训练师

这种恐龙运动服可能是我的最爱，因为它代表了现实生活中的许多天。 如果您不想购买新的儿童服装，可以在旧货店或快速换购中找到。 父母在白色野生动物园型衬衫下穿合身的红色衬衫，并在白色衬衫上剪上爪痕，使红色像鲜血一样透出。卡其色，户外帽子和靴子完善了合奏。点击图片查看这个家庭如何将他们的服装放在一起。

Welcome to 的 fourth and final installment of our series 上 parenting special needs kids. This week吉尔·哈农（Jill Hanon）, our PVMOM special needs forum moderator, gets real about 的 strong emotions that often come with 的 parenting process.  You can find 的 previous installments 这里 :
第1部分： 当您发现发育迟缓时该怎么办
第2部分： 当您的孩子年龄太大而无法接受AZEIP时：DDD，发展性学前班和IEP
第3部分： 提倡您的特殊需要儿童

​Erin: Some parents describe going through shock, grief, or guilt when 的y realize that 的ir children face extra difficulties. What was your experience, and how did you get through it?
吉尔： 那个挺难。但是我’m 的 kind of person who says, “就是这样，让’只是做我们必须做的。”告诉我这是什么，我必须做什么，然后我就去做。

艾琳：What has been 的 hardest part of parenting special needs kids?
吉尔 : The hardest part was about a year into it after 的ir diagnoses. It was so tiring. The kids were melting down and having regressions. I felt despair sometimes, and would cry myself to sleep. I would think, “He’永远不会正常，但他’将会是正常的。”

艾琳：How did you get through that time?
吉尔 : 您 just go through it. And you see progress. 您 see a path ahead. 您 focus 上 的 little bright spots and 的 things that make life easier. Like for us, I made a giant schedule in 的 kitchen to keep track of everything. 您 remember that you are not in it alone.  与可以告诉你的人在一起，“You’re going to be okay. 那里 is a light. 您 just have to keep going.”

艾琳：What other advice do you have for people walking this path?
吉尔： Get through 的 process of dealing with 的 emotions of 的 diagnosis as soon as you can, and start working 上 how you can help. Go lock yourself in 的 bathroom and cry it out when you need to.

艾琳：How does parenting special needs kids affect marriage and co-parenting?
吉尔： Sometimes 上 e parent handles most of it and 的 other doesn’t really see it, or maybe accept it. I recommend that both parents stay involved in 的 appointments so you are both fully aware.

艾琳： 您对保持良好关系有什么建议？
吉尔： Communicate! Tell your spouse when you are at 的 end of your rope. Find time for yourselves. If your children are in DDD, you may qualify to receive respite care. Take advantage of it. 

艾琳： 吉尔·哈农（Jill Hanon），感谢您在本月与我们分享如此多的心，智慧和经验。我知道您帮助鼓励了许多家庭。

As I sat down to write this post I was overcome joy but eyes filled with tears. PVMOM has been a huge part of my motherhood journey and I hope some of you out 的re feel 的 same.

我与PVMOM的故事可追溯到2015年-我的双胞胎快要成年了，在旧金山呆了6个月之后，我们回到了凤凰城。 我了解了PVMOM （来自另一个成员）  当我怀孕但从未加入。 I had really taken a step back from 的 working world and knew I would need to dive head first into making mom friends so got 的 courage to attend my first meeting - Favorite Things / Baby Addition. I remember walking into 的 room not knowing a single face, sitting in my chair and just hoping 的 person sitting next to me would say something. Most of you might not know this about me but I am actually very shy when around lots of people 我不't know. As 的 meeting progressed it became very clear that this was a place full of moms just like me. 妈妈's that had sleep struggles, nursing challenges, work and relationships to deal with and 的 overwhelming sense that we had to do it all and be it all. I think I left that night and ran home to my husband as giddy as a school girl.

那次会面后不久，是我的第一个双胞胎约会。我们中的一些人聚集在比尔特莫尔（Biltmore）–为孩子们扔下毯子，并立即就这个被称为“母性”的疯狂事情进行了交谈。直到今天，我第一次玩游戏的那些妈妈仍然是我最亲爱的朋友。在过去的四年中，我们有更多这样的约会日期-孩子们在玩耍，妈妈们聚集在一起分享最新的消息“哦，我猜猜今天H做了什么？” PVMOM给了我这一点，并在如此多的艰难和艰难时期给了我支持。为此，我永远感激不已。

我在董事会任职的第一年开始担任会议策划人。我努力制定了一个会议时间表，将妈妈聚集在一起，并在妈妈工具包中提供了一些新工具。我记得我第一次见面时，我们被推到一个病人会议室的一个小会议室里，那里挤满了人，房子挤得满满的，还有一位成员关于孩子们不听的精彩演讲！我很快就迷上了，终于找到了一个出口，可以让我回馈自己，除了做妈妈以外，还可以集中精力做其他事情。我担任董事会主席的第二年和第三年，与我的犯罪伙伴贝丝·吉维尔茨一起。我们在一起一起参加了我们认为不可能做到的小组赛。我们增加了会员，举办了许多精彩的活动，赞助了会议，甚至创办了新妈妈协会。两年来，我们震惊了在线拍卖，甚至还能够支持其他一些当地的非营利组织。我说的所有这些并不是在吹嘘我自己的号角，而是展示像妈妈小组这样简单的事情对我的生活以及无数其他人来说。我很幸运能被董事会中一群令人惊叹的女性所包围，这使所有这些事情成为现实。成为董事会成员最好的事情与所有的数字和胜利无关，而是与我发展的友谊以及我与这么多成员建立的联系。

担任总统一职的唯一目的是想方设法增进妈妈之间的联系和关系。身为多重母亲很特别，而且非常努力。我记得在最初的几个月里感到如此孤立和迷茫，我从来不希望让MoM独自解决这个疯狂的旅程。我希望该小组和每个成员都能找到一种联系方式，获得所需的支持，然后回馈社会。从某种意义上说，这是生活的圈子-我们都需要大孩子的妈妈的支持，但小孩子的妈妈也需要我们。我希望你能参加活动，让孩子们在所有的乐趣中探索，享受妈妈的夜晚，因为你也需要时间，并把它作为参加研讨会的重点，因为我可以保证你不仅会学到东西，而且会与其他妈妈一起度过一天的忙碌后，走开了。并且永远知道在这个小组的后面有一个董事会，而且大门总是敞开的。

To 的 current board, may you have a wonderful, fulfilling, exciting year! 那里 has already been a lot of time and effort spent to get off 上 的 对 foot. 那里 are no words to express how grateful I feel to have worked along side you and I cherish 的 friendships I have.

To our members, thank you for trusting us as we explored and played. So many of you showed up with smiling faces, silly stories and it always left me feeling proud that we could all stand together as PVMOM. 那里 is nothing like this tribe, nothing like 的 power of a MoM and it's all because of our great membership. Cheers to 2018/19

xoxo，
雷切尔·萨尔金（Rachel Salkin）

This week, we pick up part 3 of our four-part series 上 seeking help for kids with developmental delays and other special needs. 吉尔·哈农（Jill Hanon）, our Special Needs forum moderator, shares her perspective 上 advocating for our children, especially in a school setting. If you missed earlier Parts, find 的m 这里 :
第1部分： What to do When 您 Notice Developmental Delays
第2部分： When 您r Children are too Old for AZEIP
​
艾琳：如果我 ’m 的 parent of kids with IEPs, how involved should I expect to be? How much time will I need to put in to advocate for 的ir education?

吉尔： 您’要弄清楚你放的东西，这取决于你的孩子’的需求是。我参与其中。有时候我’我要求参加IEP会议，因为我没有’t feel like 的re’s enough progress happening. 您 can always request a review in writing. 那里’一个特定的时间范围。我认为他们有十天的时间来回复您。一世’我非常动手，因为我对老师和治疗师以及所有’s happening, 的 more I can carry that through for my child. 您 have to be 的ir advocate for everything. If you have a child with special needs, you’经常重复他们的声音。即使他们能够随着年龄的增长而与医生交谈，您仍然必须在那里提倡一切。如果你不这样做’做不到，没有人会做。无论他们多么出色和出色，他们的老师都只能做很多事情。那里’没有您的特定要求或批准，他们可以做的只有这么多。一世’我曾经遇到过这样的情况’曾经参加过一次IEP会议，老师们在桌子对面有意义地凝视着我，“Ask 的 question!”然后他们’会来找我说“I’我很高兴你提出来，因为我’我一直很想说些什么，我不能’t.”学校人员可以做某些事情’除非您发起，否则不要说或做。

艾琳：What’您对提倡特殊需要的孩子有何建议？

吉尔： 尽可能地了解该过程。愿意质疑过程。一世’我必须得到教育倡导者的帮助，因为我没有’不喜欢他们的一个IEP发生了什么。他们试图在他准备好之前将他踢开。我所要做的只是丢掉了辩护人的名字，说我们要和她见面，这就足够了。有时你必须打硬汉。我尽量和团队保持亲切。因为他们努力工作，经历了很多事情。但是同时’这是他们必须遵循的一个过程。 您越了解该过程，就越能使它在您的孩子中发挥作用’s advantage.

艾琳：Do you still need DDD if your child is receiving services through 的ir school?

吉尔： 这取决于孩子。他们可能会通过DDD获得服务，而不是在学校获得资格，因为在学校的服务完全基于学习成绩。就像他们可以在学校交流并提出问题一样，所以他们不’没资格在学校接受言语治疗，但这不’t mean 的y don’t need it.  然后，您将成为混乱的协调员。因为你’在学校重新协调他的504或IEP—504是住宿，而不是像IEP一样提供的干预和服务—和医生的约会，以及DDD治疗。

艾琳：Why do you need 的 official 504 piece of paper for accommodations when you could just informally ask 的 teacher to do it?

吉尔： 因为如果他们在纸上，他们必须这样做。而且，如果您有一位以上的老师，或者您要调动，则需要。在我们的情况下，我的一年级生有六，七个不同的老师。因此，所有这些老师和行政部门都必须遵守该计划。让’s say your child’问题是多动症。住所可能放了一个文件夹，所以他们不’t get distracted during a test. 您 might have an amazing team that knows what accommodations your child needs, but 的 more you know going into 的 meeting, 的 better 的 plan is going to be. The more benefit your child’s going to get. We’我把一些DDD治疗师带到学校开会，因为他们知道’和我们的孩子在一起。您与该团队的合作越多，就会越好。

艾琳：Would you agree that it’s never too late to start 的 process?

吉尔： Absolutely. If your gut tells you something, early or late, follow it. 您 are going to be your child’s biggest advocate. 您 know that child better than anybody, so follow that hunch. Even through five years of 的rapies and everything you can imagine, I’我仍在和我的孩子一起寻找让我走的东西，“HMMM. This isn’t working, I’我尝试了其他所有方法，可怜的孩子可以’t read, let’让他检查一下眼睛。”果然有’s an issue. So it’一个持续的过程。随着一件事变得更好，其他事情浮出水面。许多事物具有相同的症状，但不同的原因导致它们或掩盖它们。唐’不要害怕尝试不同的事物，提出愚蠢的问题，尝试不同的医生。不幸的是’越来越多的家庭受到影响，虽然我们在亚利桑那州为我们提供了很长的服务清单，’有很多需要他们的人。所以有时候’的等待列表，有时您必须搜索提供程序。如果你’re sure something’s not 对, don’不要以为答案。

艾琳：What would you advise someone like me, for whom it doesn’会自然而然地退缩吗？

吉尔： 它没有’我也自然而然地到来。一世’当涉及到这类事情时，在壁花中。但是对我来说，它变成了“If 我不’不能得到这个孩子的帮助，我不会’不知道他的生活会怎样。”而且我已经看到两岁到六岁的孩子有了很大的进步。一世’我有朋友和家人说，“Oh, 我不’t get it.” And 的n 的y’d几年后见他们说：“Oh my gosh!” 您 have to find things that work. 您 have to get 的m in 的rapies that are going to work for 的m, but it WILL work. 那里 was a whole year where I was crying myself to sleep every night, feeling like my son was not getting better. And 的n it was like a light bulb went 上 . 那里’总是很挣扎。它’s a spectrum and it’s的比例尺，所以这取决于您所处的位置，但是会有改善，’在那里，您只需要找到它。

艾琳：Do you have any favorite networking resources?

​For autism specifically, 的 autism society of greater phoenix is great. 那里’有特殊需要的父母凤凰城或东谷Facebook页面。我们有PVMOM特殊需求论坛。人们不应该’不要害怕加入并提出问题。对我来说，甚至坐在治疗室的候诊室里，与其他父母交谈。一世’仅仅通过与其他经历过的父母交谈就获得了很多信息。如果您的孩子最近被诊断出，自闭症协会将有一个家长指导计划。其他地方也一样。他们将把您与经过这个过程的另一个家庭配对，并回答一些最初的问题。 

通过艾琳·斯威汀（Erin Sweeten）

上周，我们与协调我们的特殊需求论坛的PVMOM吉尔·哈农（Jill Hanon）进行了交谈，讨论如何为陷入困境的婴幼儿寻求帮助。 您 can find Part One 这里 。本周，我们从上次中断的地方接机：当您的孩子仍然有延误但年龄超过3岁时该怎么办？

艾琳：My kids are about to age out of AZEIP. What happens next?
吉尔： 您r service coordinator is supposed to start 的 process with you. We had a ton of glitches because our service coordinator was kind of non-existent. Unfortunately both AZEIP and DDD have a lot of turnover. I can’甚至不告诉你我有多少个协调员’在过去的五年中。一世’ve lost track. We’现在与我们目前的一年差不多，我’m like, “拜托，DDD抓住他。” For 的 transfer to DDD, you have some forms and things to fill out. 您 apply to Altec. It’是其中的长期护理健康批准部分。离开AZEIP时会有一份财务批准书。 DDD看着你和孩子们’的收入。 DDD从3岁到18岁不等。请准备很多繁文tape节。跳过篮球，填写表格，并记下您与谁谈话的时间。跟踪一切。

艾琳：那么，如果您在三岁时符合DDD的资格，您在十八岁之前还不错，还是必须对孩子进行重新评估？
吉尔： They are evaluated at ages three and six. Age six, because 的y age out of some of 的 programs. Although 的re can be exceptions. Because my son Jack repeated kindergarten, he actually got his services extended. His brother Charlie didn’t。相同的年龄，相同的资格，但是因为一个人留在同类中而一个没有’t, 的y had different results.

艾琳：What are 的 fees associated with DDD? Is it a sliding scale?
吉尔： It is a sliding scale. What 的y do is, first 的y submit it to your private insurance. What private insurance doesn’t cover, DDD is supposed to cover. 那里 may be a co-pay, depending 上 what you qualified for. We haven’t had a ton of out-of-pocket. Most of our expenses were because 的 transition between AZEIP and DDD got messed up. I had to reapply twice because 的y literally lost our paperwork.

艾琳：如果我 missed 的 window for AZEIP and my child is over age three, can I still apply for evaluations and services?
吉尔： Yes. 您 just start 的 process with DDD. 您 go to 的 Department of Economic Security website, and 的n 的re’s a page for disabilities. The website is a little difficult to navigate, but 的re is tons of good information 上 的re. It’s a good resource.  Here’s 的 link: //des.az.gov/services/disabilities/developmental-disabilities. The application is basically 的 same thing. 您 make an inquiry, have an evaluation. However, it’很难获得服务资格，尤其是如果您没有’没有某种诊断。那不’并不是说自闭症，但是如果您只是有记载的发育迟缓，那 ’s going to help 的 situation. They will look at scrips from your doctor. 您 have to turn all that stuff in.

艾琳：If my kids qualify for services, what happens next?
吉尔： First, you have to get a prescription from your pediatrician for 的rapy services. For example, if I’m approved for speech 的rapy services 上 e hour a week, 的 doctor needs to write that scrip exactly that way and send it to DDD. Then DDD sends it to 的 provider.

艾琳：Let’谈论发展性的学前班。怎么适合呢？
吉尔： 我们参加了Sun Kids，这是天堂谷学区的发展性学前班计划。斯科茨代尔（Scottsdale）也有一个叫做“熊猫计划”的计划。我相信其他地区也有，尽管我没有’不知道他们的名字。它是公立学校系统的一部分。如果你’如果有兴趣，请与您所在地区的地区办事处联系。然后，您会进行测试以查看是否符合条件。它’s essentially a skills and cognitive test. It seems kind of silly at three years 10 月 , which I believe is 的 qualifying age. 您 have to be at least that age to test for preschool. 您 can stay in 的 school for 上 e or two years.

艾琳：How early do I need to start working 上 this before 的 school year starts?
吉尔： My boys are August birthdays. So school started before 的y were allowed to go. But I think I got 的 process started in February or March and 的y were evaluated in May.

艾琳：If 上 e of my children has developmental delays and 的 other 上 e doesn’t, can 的y still go to 的 same school?
吉尔： Yes. Developmental classrooms all have what 的y call “peer models.” If your child doesn’t have delays, he or she can be evaluated to be a peer model. 那里 is a tuition cost to being a peer model, while 的re is no cost for 的 developmental preschool if your child qualifies with developmental delays. It’是早上或下午的节目，通常需要两个半小时左右。大多数地区都有公共汽车。

艾琳：发展中的学前班是否为每个孩子提供IEP（个性化教育计划）？
吉尔： 是， you go through 的 whole process. The child goes through an evaluation, 的n you will meet, and write goals, and 的re will be reviews of those goals each year or more often.

艾琳：When my kids go into kindergarten, does 的 IEP follow 的m, or do 的y have to do it all over again?
吉尔：是的。它跟随他们。但是让 ’备份。当他们接受发展性学前班的测试时，该测试将持续三年。他们可能会在上幼儿园之前重新评估他们，然后将持续三年。基本上，他们必须每三年经历整个过程。该测试称为“MET（多学科评估小组）报告。”因年龄而异。其中一部分是父母（父母）必须填写的许多问题。其中一些是孩子们的实际测试—看照片，玩游戏之类的事情。 需要特别注意的一件事是，如果您的孩子有资格参加发展性学前班，那么当该孩子五岁时，就必须开始上幼儿园。如果将它们拉出，则必须将它们自己放置在其他位置。然后，当您返回公立学校时，您必须再次经历整个IEP过程。我的儿子们在截止日期之前快五岁了，一个准备上幼儿园，另一个’t。但是我们想留在该地区并保留他们的IEP，因此我们不得不将他们放进幼儿园。最后一个重复。

艾琳：Thanks for all 的 great info 上 transferring or starting services for older children! We'll be back next week with all your advice 上 how to navigate and advocate for your special needs children.

艾琳：What should I do if I notice delays in my young kids?
吉尔： 您 can do what I did. I self-referred to AZEIP 上 的ir website when my boys were 18 月 old. 您r pediatrician or other people can also refer you. It took about two weeks to hear back.

艾琳：So you can fill out some kind of screener 上 的 website?
吉尔：是的。该计划是亚利桑那州早期干预计划。  It’s a department of 的 Department of Economic Security. 这里’s 的 link: //extranet.azdes.gov/azeip/azeipref/Forms/Categories.aspx

艾琳： AZEIP calls me back and schedules an evaluation. What can I expect from 的 evaluation?
吉尔：根据您的关注点，他们会派人去评估该特定关注点。他们可能会也可能不会注意到其他事情。就我们而言，我们担心语音延迟。他们派出言语治疗师和协调员。需要注意的重要一点是，他们会问很多问题：“您的孩子会这样做吗？您的孩子几岁了？”如果您的孩子（并非经常或并非一直）这样做，您的答案是，“No.”因为他们有一个量表，并且正在评估您的孩子，如果您说，“Yes,” but it’并非始终如此，那么不应将其视为已完成该技能。那’s why it’重要的是拒绝。如果他们’ve said “Mom”一次又一次，’一直都在说。作为父母，我们的冲动是吹嘘我们的孩子，并使他们处于最佳状态，但这 ’s not what you want to do in 的 evaluation. 您 want a really good representation of what 的y are actually doing.

艾琳：What ages of children are eligible for this program?
吉尔： 我相信这个’s birth through three for AZEIP. After three years old, 的y are transferred to 的 Department of Developmental Disabilities (DDD).

艾琳：What costs are associated with AZEIP?
吉尔： It is fully covered. 所有 evaluations, services and 的rapies are free through age three.

艾琳：所以，让’s say 的y determine that my child qualifies for services. What kinds of things should I ask for? Do I have any say?
吉尔： 这取决于他们的资格。如果他们进行了全面的评估，他们可能有资格接受言语，职业治疗和物理治疗。他们将根据评估结果提出建议。在我们的情况下，我们只接受语音评估。我们的治疗师说，言语治疗已经两周了，“您介意我让职业治疗师来看看这些男孩吗？”然后他们有资格接受职业治疗。随着我们的前进，越来越多的事情出现了。而且’如果您没有这种情况’拒绝提供服务’s it. Keep pushing. 您 can ask for 的m to be re-evaluated after a certain time period.

艾琳：Does AZEIP give diagnoses?
吉尔： 他们没有做出任何诊断。如果您要进行诊断，那’s probably going to help you. 您 have to pursue that separately. Depending 上 what 的 evaluation says and your pediatrician recommends, you will want to consult with a developmental pediatrician, such as Melmed or PCH or SARC. I’我们已经看到发育儿科医生的等待名单长达六个月或一年。但是，我了解Melmed，如果您要求列入取消等待名单，’会更快地进入。根据情况，是否 ’由于自闭症或其他延迟，可能还有其他资源需要访问。

艾琳：Do AZEIP 的rapists come to my home?
吉尔： In most cases, 的y’re going to come to your house. The coordinator refers your case to a local network of 的rapists based 上 where you live. Then 的 的rapist from that network will come to your home. In rare cases, home 的rapy may not be enough. For example, my kids had occupational 的rapy in 的 clinic, but still covered by AZEIP.

艾琳：如果我’m assigned a 的rapy provider, and 我不’t think 的y are 的 对 fit for my kids? What can I do?
吉尔： 您 have a 的rapy provider, but you also have an AZEIP service coordinator, basically like a case manager. So if it’s not working, you contact that case manager, and 的y help you find a different provider.

艾琳：How do you know if it’s not working?
吉尔： 那里’他们称之为的整个过程“pairing.”因此，治疗师和孩子，第一次或两次，可能并没有做很多实际的工作。他们可能会一起玩，以便彼此了解。相信你的直觉。如果您看到您的孩子正在与这个人挣扎，超出了实际工作—因为要做这项工作很艰辛，他们’起初不想做很多事情。他们将花费很多时间在一起。每周至少一个小时。如果看到有 ’建立联系后，这个人将要在您的房子里，并且变得有点像您的家人，您需要工作。而且您也需要该人与您交流。因此，也需要与您建立联系。

艾琳：谢谢，吉尔！那’s it for today. We’ll pick up 的 conversation next week with what happens when your child ages out of AZEIP.
吉尔： No problem. I wish I had had somebody to guide me through that first year. If I can help somebody else get through that so 的y don't have to struggle, that's my little bit of payback for 的 help I've received. I encourage any PVMOM parent with concerns to join 的 special needs forum, even if just to ask questions.

通过艾琳·斯威汀（Erin Sweeten）

​There you are, in 的 house, with bored kids either getting into stuff 的y shouldn't or clinging 上 to you like barnacles. The family needs a change of pace. 这里 are some simple, engaging activities to break up 的 normal routine. 您 can do all of 的m with things you probably already have at home.

2.做可食用的手指画
​Mix some food coloring into vanilla yogurt and let your kids paint 上 waxed paper or tortillas. My kids love licking 的ir fingers as 的y go along, so I give 的m each 的ir own set of colors to experiment with. This activity doubles as snack time. 

3. Pull out 的 painter's tape.
​Use brightly colored painter's tape to make targets 上 的 wall. 您r kids can toss bean bags or small stuffed animals at 的m; try to see 的 highest x 的y can reach; or use it at a giant connect-the-dots game, unrolling 的 tape from x to x.
​You can also use it to make roads for 的ir cars 上 的 rug or for start and finish lines for races. 
​Or just get a roll started and let 的m stick tape all over 的 wall however 的y want.

​4.将玩具冻结在冰中。
​Take some little plastic toys and freeze 的m in bowls of water. Release 的 ice into larger containers and let 的 kids use spray bottles, squeeze bottles, and turkey basters to melt 的 ice and free 的 toys. My kids like to compare 的 effects of cold water, ice water, and salt water. Make sure each kid has 的ir own ice chunk to work with.
​If you are feeling ambitious, you can put plastic dinosaurs inside balloons, fill 的 balloons with water, and freeze those to create dinosaur ice eggs. 

6.用水油漆。
​如果您的露台或阳台阴暗，请在桶里装满水，  let your kids "paint" 的 wall and concrete with paint rollers or brushes. When my twins were toddlers, 的y were perfectly to stay happy indoors with dry paint rollers that 的y used to "smooth out" 的 floors and furniture.

​7. Wash 的 toys.
​Fill 上 e large bin with 肥皂y water and another with rinse water. And sponges, brushes, and bath puffs, and let 的 kids splash and scrub 上 all 的ir water-safe objects. Make sure you put down plenty of towels, though, or 的 floor will get dangerously slippery. We put our wet toys 上 a picnic blanket in 的 back yard to dry.

通过艾琳·斯威汀（Erin Sweeten）

又到了每年的这个时候。三位数温度时间。 The "Are gremlins in 的 sun dumping extra burning hydrogen over 的 Valley?" time. The kids screw 的ir eyes into tiny slits when 的y leave 的 house, and turn splotchy and red, and get damp, stinky heads in minutes time. The "What 的 heck are we going to do all day?" time. Never fear! PVMOM is 这里 with an uber-list of indoor and water-focused activities for all ages, to keep you and yours busy and happy through 的 hottest weeks (who are we kidding-- hottest 月 ) of 的 year.

PVMOM blogger Shannon Galasso put together this list a few years ago, but it is now expanded and updated for 2018. We've said goodbye to We Rock 的 Spectrum and Playtime Oasis, and said hello to many new or under-new-management venues, including Party Jungle, Giggles, Luv2Play, and Bounce-A-Rama. We've also added some venues and water parks we missed 上 的 first go-round, and a new section listing websites where you can find up-to-date kid-friendly events. 

确保您查看我们的精彩 赞助商, many of whom offer discounts to club members. We also regularly post special events in our private members-only Facebook group; keep an eye out 的re for play dates and other activities.

Click 上 的 summer fun link below to view or download 的 uber-list. Don't let 的 heat get you down-- text a friend, get out of 的 house, and have some fun.

这个月，PVMoM Colleen Clemency Cordes描述了她的儿子出生后重新上班的感觉。她是新任命的助理院长兼长期临床教授。 the College of Health Solutions at Arizona State University. She also works as a psychologist and behavioral health consultant in 的 community. She is mom to three-year-old twins Avery and Ethan and a daughter, Hannah, who was just born at 的 end of April. Congratulations, Colleen!
​
1.当您重新上班时，您的孩子几岁了，这个决定中包括哪些因素？

When 的 twins were born, I took 10 weeks of full time maternity leave, followed by 4 weeks of part time leave, where I went into 的 office every Tu/Thurs, and worked remotely an additional 4 hours. At 的 end of those 14 weeks, I went back to work full time.
 
许多因素影响了我的决定。第一个，也许是最大的，是当我怀上男孩大约9个星期时，我获得了一个不可思议的机会，成为ASU的部门主席。尽管当时很难确定在如此多的事情变化时我是否应该接受它，但是一旦克里斯（丈夫）和我决定去做，很明显我会利用我的FMLA 12周时间，然后重新上班。我认为对我和男孩们来说，最好也逐渐减少工作量，这就是我进行兼职过渡的原因。在我最近一次怀孕期间（单身），当我大约4个月时，再次获得了很好的工作机会。–现在过渡到助理院长职位–因此，很容易确定类似的方法（全职请假后再兼职逐渐缩减）。
 
I’我也很幸运，因为ASU可以为我提供6周的带薪育儿假，以及非常慷慨的教职工病假/休假累积政策，因此，参加FMLA 12周对我来说薪水没有变化。
 
2. What was 的 best part of 的 transition back to work, and what was 的 most challenging part? What were your emotions?
 
那里 has never been a question in my mind that I would go back to work after having kids. My career (as a psychologist and now faculty member) has always been a very important part of my identity, and my mother modeled balancing a high-powered position (she was 的 CEO of a nationally known nonprofit) and family life. Chris used to joke that considering I was getting my PhD when we met, he never had any expectation that I would stay at home, and I think I’我是一个更好的妈妈，因为我有从事其他爱好的渠道。
 
也就是说，在某些方面（当然在其他方面更容易实现）的过渡肯定比我预期的要难。在男孩出生之前，我在床上休息了三个星期。因此，如果没有别的，那么离开我的房子并与成人互动，除了喂食，睡眠时间表和尿布以外，都很棒。但是我仍然筋疲力尽，发现自己每隔几分钟就要检查一下手机，以确保在家中一切正常，或者看看我是否有新照片。在过渡期间，我的公婆正看着这些男孩，所以我知道他们的手很好，但是我们陷入了一个非常好的常规，以至于我担心自己会输，然后我发现自己想知道他们是否愿意’不要以我希望别人照顾他们的方式依附在我身上。我发现随着时间的流逝，这些烦恼有所减轻，但尤其是当我回到全职工作并且男孩正由保姆而不是家人看着他们的时候。
 
3.许多上班的妈妈描述感觉被拉向两个方向。您是否经历过，如何处理？
 
绝对是我的感觉！我真的很幸运，尽管有很多工作，但我在担任教职员工时有很大的灵活性。我一周可以几天在家工作（这对男孩们带着保姆在家里来说是很棒的，因为我可以整天休息一下），而且我可以毫不费力地出席重要的事情。一世’我也找到了一个很好的平衡– I’我经常在高峰时间之前离开我在凤凰城的办公室，这样男孩们放学回家时，我可以回家，而当他们回到家时，我’m在非电子模式下。男孩们’日程安排非常一致，因此，他们在7/7：30上床睡觉后，我可以结束第二天早上需要解决的任何与工作有关的活动。我最大的挑战’我实际上一直感觉像我’我偶尔会忽略自我照顾（不断出现的妈妈问题！）。例如，运动很难适应一天，因为我不’想要在周末（我的男生去上课）度过一个星期六的早晨，而周末则是我与他们度过最美好时光的时候。
 
5.您会给一个多头妈妈考虑重新工作的建议吗？
 
The best advice I got came from my mom. 妈妈 mentioned that 的 first weeks back at work after my older brother was born, she cried 的 entire train ride from Long Island to Manhattan, thinking about quitting her job because she couldn’相信她花了那么多时间远离婴儿。大约一周后，她设定了最后期限– 6 月 out –做一个决定。截止日期是’t a “I need to decide by”截止日期，最多“I won’直到做出决定” deadline –认识到这是一个调整，头几周会很艰难，而硬度上升了’t go away per se, it’随着您和您的家人的适应而改变。等待6个月来做出任何重大决定，使她能够适应新的妈妈身份和正在工作的妈妈身份，而不是去适应过渡期最初几周产生的强烈情绪。
 
另一件事是没有“right” way to be a mom. 那里 is what is best for you and what’最适合您的家人–每个家庭的情况差异很大。它’容易握住“草总是更绿”查看工作范围另一端的MoM时的心态。我妈妈总是告诉我们长大后应该“找到什么让你的心歌唱，你’我会找出其余的。”成为妈妈会让我心动，但我的职业生涯也会如此。因此，找到一种兼顾两者的方法一直是我家庭的关键’整体健康。 

通过艾琳·斯威汀（Erin Sweeten）
​I was awakened 的 other day to a torrent of pee falling into 的 kids’ toilet. My five year old sons were going at 的 same time, and already in full competition mode: whose pee was 的 loudest? Whose stream shot 的 farthest? Who could make 的 most gargantuan pee bubble? They can turn literally anything into a who’更好的比赛。每当有人评论卡勒姆有多高的时候，罗南马上就说，“I’m two minutes older!”
 
兄弟姐妹之间的竞争在各种兄弟姐妹之间发生，但它在多重性方面具有特别强的控制力。他们的生活情况是如此相似，以至于他们有更多的比较机会。他们还解决了父母一生的关注。我问一个双胞胎十四岁的妈妈，这种竞争是否会减弱。“不，嗯依然强劲，” she replied. 德拉特兄弟姐妹之间的竞争似乎将继续存在。什么’是个倍数的妈妈吗？我仍在学习中，但以下几件事帮助我们驯服了竞争。你家什么’最有效的策略？

1. When your children are learning a new skill, have 的m learn it separately if possible.  I took my boys to learn to ride 的ir bikes and 上 e got 的 hang of it 对 away while 的 other wasn’t even close to ready. He jealously watched his brother wobbling down 的 sidewalk and kicked his own bike over. “I don’想要这个旧的螺栓桶！”哎呀我确保我们没有’t have any more shared lessons. The non-rider is now my number 上 e pool care assistant, and he cheers proudly for his bike-riding brother zooming around 的 park.
2. 庆祝各种进步。 Create regular opportunities for family members to share 的ir successes. We used to do a family toast 上 ce a week or so at dinner, cheering 上 e another’s triumphs. That lessens 的 sting when 上 e kid is recognized for an accomplishment and 的 other isn’t. Reviewing 的 day individually at bedtime helps too.
3. Help 的m to develop individual relationships and interests. The more often I remove 的 option to compare, 的 better we do. The boys are in different classes at school. Our family schedules “kid dates” every six weeks, where parents take turns going out 上 e-on-one with 的 kids. This weekend, Callum and I shot Nerf guns, rode bikes, and played in 的 splash pad at a park. If 上 e child is playing with a friend, 的 other child can always opt out and play alone. Each child can choose his own extracurricular activity.
4. Help 的m build friendship and cooperation. 我的儿子每一次争论和竞争，他们都会有3次相处融洽，发明精致的游戏或向蚂蚁射击喷枪。我一定要在那一刻说一下。 我最喜欢的技巧是建议一个挣扎的孩子自己解决这个问题。他的兄弟几乎每次都会向他求助。 当我尝试施加某种后果（即坚持要一个孩子清理自己的烂摊子）而另一个偷偷溜到我身后并照顾好它时，这种策略适得其反。但是即使那样，我还是很喜欢。
5. 避免裁判。 If 的y are disputing about who is 的 fastest or 的 strongest or 的 best Lego tower builder and ask me to weigh in, I annoy my sons greatly by saying every time, “你们每个人都有自己的长处和做事方式。”我会。不。是。画。在。  They can compare all 的y want; my job is to see and appreciate each boy as himself.

 
我可以说更多，但我’我必须介入一个争论，即谁的头可以更好地穿过衬衫的脖子孔。祝我好运！